time to leave

i've decided to quit my job. i just need to decide when. i've been unhappy and unmotivated here for years. although i don't have another job to go to, the idea of being free is intoxicating. i can do other things!!! like freelance, like be more active in different ministries, like spend solitary time alone just reading and meditating and writing!!! =D i can try taking classes in cooking and interior design and painting and pottery and martial arts and real estate [with the crazy prices, i figure if i ever want to buy a home here i better take a course to educate myself!] AND most importantly, i want to take the missions-focused perspectives course. i want to take steps towards my dream of serving missions agencies and non-profits with graphic design. i know that sounds insane...i wouldn't be making much. and i'd be giving up awesome health benefits and an even better 401k matching program. but somehow, in light of other things, those things aren't as important. what i want the most is freedom. i feel suffocated here, and have felt that way for a while. so i'm excited. i figure this is the best time too, since eman and i don't have kids yet. it'd be harder for me to start pursuing this if i had kids. i mean, i'm scared shitless, but my fear of leaving is smaller than my fear of not taking a chance, of not trying.

i remember, years ago, while in art school, i prayed that one day i'd be able to use graphic design as a ministry. i didn't know how that was going to happen, but i wanted to dedicate my developing skill to Him. some time later, i thought that meant he'd just have me work as a designer for newsong. when that didn't happen, i got confused and thought maybe he didn't want to use me and my design skills. so i stopped thinking about it for a while. but lately that desire has come back tenfold. i know it's risky...i know to most it even seems absurd. but i won't know if God will use me that way until i give it a shot...until i make myself available to find out.

Introducing Alexis Gracie Jung!

yesterday our niece came into the world! =) her name is alexis and she was born via c-section so she doesn't have a cone-head. in fact, her head is perfectly round and her face perfectly symmetrical. she's quite long too, and weighed in at almost 8lbs! [her dad, eman's brother, is over 6'.] the most interesting thing about her so far is her hair...she's got tons! all over her head, and all over her back and shoulders. but she seems to be a peaceful baby...didn't cry at all until the nurse picked her up to give her her first bath. and she had her eyes open most of the time too, indicating that she's bright and observant. =) she is definitely a miracle baby. her parents had been trying and praying for 8 years, and we were all eagerly anticipating her arrival. i couldn't help but just stare at her perfect form and thank God for keeping her healthy in the womb. david, her dad, had his little video camera with him the whole time. before we left, he taped all of us [both sides of the family were there] as we told her how much we loved her and were so thankful for her. we committed to always love her, support her, and pray for her physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

this child will be loved and treasured her whole life. =)

gramma spunk

WOMAN, 91, TEACHES PURSE SNATCHER A LESSON

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) - A purse snatcher picked on the wrong 91-year-old, police said. Katherine Woodworth started swinging her purse at the man and hit him until he ran away, police said. He had walked up to her in a department store parking lot Saturday afternoon and told her that he was going to take her purse.

``I didn't have my hearing aid in, and I thought he said that he was going to take my pulse,'' she said. ``Then he said it again that he was going to take my purse and I said, 'No, you're not.'''

The small woman with gray hair and glasses turned angry.

``He just made me mad,'' Woodworth said. ``I wasn't really thinking, I just hit him.''

``I'll be 92 in August and I guess I've got more nerve now than when I was younger,'' she said.

problem with religion

i have a problem with my religion. the whole "name it and claim it!" gospel...the whole "God wants to bless you! if you're not blessed, it's because of the sin in your life! repent and you will be blessed once more!"...the whole theology that reduces God to a strict, superficial, egotisical superbeing ready to dispense blessings at your obedience, and punishments at your rebellion...is something i just can't swallow. but i know so many who can, and do, and then go around preaching it to whoever will listen. and there are many who will. i wish i could too...seems to be the popular mode of thought for many christians these days...if you don't believe it, maybe you're doing something wrong...maybe you need to repent more...or worse, maybe you're just not a real Christian. but i can't believe it. every part of me says that isn't who Jesus is...that it's not what he came for...not what he cares about the most.

i have a problem with my religion: it doesn't seem to have much to do with Jesus.

labor of love

it's our 6 mo. anniversary and it just goes to show
we were too young to know how deep the labor goes
this labor of love we took upon ourselves
not quite sure what we were in for but felt compelled
to give it a go, let it ride, let it flow
it's our 6 mo. anniversary and it's starting to show

so we'll just go at it slow baby we'll go at it slow
relationships are hard, Lord knows
but it's a labor of love that we're sharing for sure
and that labor's well worth it, more so now than before

so i won't give up on your tender truth
and i'll learn to relinquish my sullen moods
coz there isn't anyone like you
who could love me so faithful
i've turned sappy and grateful
for these past 6 months that goes to show
just how deep our labor of love goes