Tuesday, September 20, 2005
citizens!
my parents are citizens!!! after almost 30 years in the u.s., they finally got sworn in this morning! =D
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
logistical vomit
So much is going on…both externally and internally. These next few weeks are going to be hella busy. Eman’s folks are in town starting today, and our niece’s 100th day celebration is next thursday, and my bro & sisinlaw’s 10 year anniversary is the day after, and the day after that is my friend chindia’s wedding. I told her I’d keep my evenings next week free [aside from my niece’s 100th day thing] for any last minute wedding stuff that needs to get done. And the week after her wedding is jamie’s wedding, which I’m helping to coordinate. All these weddings…it’s exciting..even tho’ they're not mine, and fun to help out, but man it’ll be busy!
On another note, I love my mechanic. Let me explain. I had been driving around for the past 2 or so months with the car shaking every time I got on the fwy. Then on Sunday, I noticed that it was quaking violently while just on surface streets, so I took it in. I hadn’t seen my mechanic in months, so he kinda knew something was up when I drove in w/o calling first. It turns out, I had an oil leak and a gas leak among other things, and my poor baby had to have extensive emergency procedures done. =( My mechanic scolded me for driving it around as long as I did with it vibrating so much. I promised him I wouldn’t ignore signs like that anymore. Isn’t he a great mechanic? And for all the work that he did…I got charged about half of what I’d normally get charged had I gone somewhere else. That’s why I love my mechanic!!! He takes care of my car, is honest, does great work, and is always willing to work with my budget. I gave him a small box of chocolates as a thank you. =) Oh, and he said I could drive my car for another 100,00 miles as long as I maintain it well, so I’ve also decided not to replace my car this year. It just doesn’t make much sense, especially with the soaring gas prices and my short commute to work…what do I need a new car for? If I need to drive long distances I’ll just borrow eman’s car. maybe NEXT fall/winter I’ll get something a little newer.
So aside from my schedule and my car, I’ve started to read up on small and home-based businesses. Why? Coz December is just around the corner, and December is when I plan to quit. And since I want to continue working, just not in an office, I thought I’d better start educating myself about the realities of running my own show. And so far, it sounds terrifying. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have a single business-savvy bone in my body. So I have a lot of questions, and I’m struggling a lot with the “how’s” and “what ifs” of it all. I’m not the dreamer I once was, so the practical me is feuding a little w/the romantic me. For instance, the practical me says to keep my job for a little longer…til I’ve done all my research and have gotten the ball rolling…maybe quit in the spring. But the romantic me says to stick to my guns, put myself out there, and give it my all from the get-go...that getting the ball rolling after quitting in December is fine coz it’ll give me more time and freedom to focus and get the research done faster. I dunno. I really want to quit. And if I could just work part-time at the office, I would. But it seems like all or nothing. And what makes me think I can pull off my own home-based business anyway? Am I just fooling myself? Would it be better if I just stayed put and stopped chasing dreams? [sigh.] I wish I knew.
On another note, I love my mechanic. Let me explain. I had been driving around for the past 2 or so months with the car shaking every time I got on the fwy. Then on Sunday, I noticed that it was quaking violently while just on surface streets, so I took it in. I hadn’t seen my mechanic in months, so he kinda knew something was up when I drove in w/o calling first. It turns out, I had an oil leak and a gas leak among other things, and my poor baby had to have extensive emergency procedures done. =( My mechanic scolded me for driving it around as long as I did with it vibrating so much. I promised him I wouldn’t ignore signs like that anymore. Isn’t he a great mechanic? And for all the work that he did…I got charged about half of what I’d normally get charged had I gone somewhere else. That’s why I love my mechanic!!! He takes care of my car, is honest, does great work, and is always willing to work with my budget. I gave him a small box of chocolates as a thank you. =) Oh, and he said I could drive my car for another 100,00 miles as long as I maintain it well, so I’ve also decided not to replace my car this year. It just doesn’t make much sense, especially with the soaring gas prices and my short commute to work…what do I need a new car for? If I need to drive long distances I’ll just borrow eman’s car. maybe NEXT fall/winter I’ll get something a little newer.
So aside from my schedule and my car, I’ve started to read up on small and home-based businesses. Why? Coz December is just around the corner, and December is when I plan to quit. And since I want to continue working, just not in an office, I thought I’d better start educating myself about the realities of running my own show. And so far, it sounds terrifying. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have a single business-savvy bone in my body. So I have a lot of questions, and I’m struggling a lot with the “how’s” and “what ifs” of it all. I’m not the dreamer I once was, so the practical me is feuding a little w/the romantic me. For instance, the practical me says to keep my job for a little longer…til I’ve done all my research and have gotten the ball rolling…maybe quit in the spring. But the romantic me says to stick to my guns, put myself out there, and give it my all from the get-go...that getting the ball rolling after quitting in December is fine coz it’ll give me more time and freedom to focus and get the research done faster. I dunno. I really want to quit. And if I could just work part-time at the office, I would. But it seems like all or nothing. And what makes me think I can pull off my own home-based business anyway? Am I just fooling myself? Would it be better if I just stayed put and stopped chasing dreams? [sigh.] I wish I knew.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
the search
light catches and ignites
fire breathes and takes flight
look for me and i'll look for you
we'll find each other, hope anew
a million voices can be heard
shouts and cries and sounds absurd
resonate deeply from their aching souls
Lord oh Lord, where did you go?
to turn and look away is cruel
but sometimes you'd rather play the fool
though not present, you feel the heat
can hear the drumming, the constant beat
you're lost somewhere, and i'm over here
i sense you but there's a sea out there
of nameless faces, disheveled and worn
find your way back to me, faith reborn.
fire breathes and takes flight
look for me and i'll look for you
we'll find each other, hope anew
a million voices can be heard
shouts and cries and sounds absurd
resonate deeply from their aching souls
Lord oh Lord, where did you go?
to turn and look away is cruel
but sometimes you'd rather play the fool
though not present, you feel the heat
can hear the drumming, the constant beat
you're lost somewhere, and i'm over here
i sense you but there's a sea out there
of nameless faces, disheveled and worn
find your way back to me, faith reborn.
hard to swallow
i shared with nick recently how sometimes the truth is hard for me to swallow. there are some things i don't want to hear, even if it is true, and even if i know it already. i'm sure i'm not alone in this. but if i agree that it's true, and know in my heart that it is, i won't deny it...i'll acknowledge it's truth, then walk away. usually it's because i'm hurt by the truth and need to be alone to process and/or cry. now you know a secret about me.
a personal account
a colleague of eman's traveled to Baton Rouge over the holiday weekend with another physician to give medical care. he's been sending us his personal accounts via email every day, and they've been heartwrenching to read. they went with free medical samples and first aid supplies and have had to ration them carefully so as not to run out prematurely. his accounts are saddening and infuriating, yet encouraging at the same time:
"Our trips to the Red Cross shelters showed us that yes, shelter and food were being provided but as of yesterday the only medical care was coming from churches and locals who chose to help of their own accord - one local doctor was explaining that neither FEMA or Red Cross would provide medical care at her massive shelter at Southern University - partly for jurisdiction conflict and partly to prevent from being overrun when news would get out of medical care. I now know that to be a successful shelter, the shelter cannot just supply a roof and food. The medical needs must be addressed, the emotional needs must be addressed, and the spiritual needs must be addressed. The places that are doing all of this have a positive environment and that energy spills over to everyone there.
By the time we finished at Greene Valley, our cell phones were ringing with word of new locales that had evacuees that needed our medical assistance - we could not go though as we had to begin our journey back to Houston to catch our return flights. This was the most difficult "I can't" I have ever had to say as I knew we were still needed - there still so much work to be done in Baton Rouge. I can only stress and remind you all that the people who are not in Red Cross or FEMA shelters are not accounted for in the numbers that we hear of evacuees on the news. There is simply no way to track them all and I do not think the government even knows about them at this point. When we were driving into Baton Rouge Saturday morning we were one of few cars headed East on I-10 with the droves of cars and buses clearly heading west to Texas and part unknown. Today as we drove East, there were massive convoys of semis, trucks, RVs, and military vehicles heading East into Baton Rouge - finally it seems help is on it's way. This certainly made us feel better although the help is LATE with no other way to describe it."
"Our trips to the Red Cross shelters showed us that yes, shelter and food were being provided but as of yesterday the only medical care was coming from churches and locals who chose to help of their own accord - one local doctor was explaining that neither FEMA or Red Cross would provide medical care at her massive shelter at Southern University - partly for jurisdiction conflict and partly to prevent from being overrun when news would get out of medical care. I now know that to be a successful shelter, the shelter cannot just supply a roof and food. The medical needs must be addressed, the emotional needs must be addressed, and the spiritual needs must be addressed. The places that are doing all of this have a positive environment and that energy spills over to everyone there.
By the time we finished at Greene Valley, our cell phones were ringing with word of new locales that had evacuees that needed our medical assistance - we could not go though as we had to begin our journey back to Houston to catch our return flights. This was the most difficult "I can't" I have ever had to say as I knew we were still needed - there still so much work to be done in Baton Rouge. I can only stress and remind you all that the people who are not in Red Cross or FEMA shelters are not accounted for in the numbers that we hear of evacuees on the news. There is simply no way to track them all and I do not think the government even knows about them at this point. When we were driving into Baton Rouge Saturday morning we were one of few cars headed East on I-10 with the droves of cars and buses clearly heading west to Texas and part unknown. Today as we drove East, there were massive convoys of semis, trucks, RVs, and military vehicles heading East into Baton Rouge - finally it seems help is on it's way. This certainly made us feel better although the help is LATE with no other way to describe it."
Thursday, September 01, 2005
sisters
i love my sister. she's a complex, sensitive, beautiful creature, and i just adore her. she's got her moments to be sure [who doesn't?] but she is, at her core, loving and loyal and compassionate. she was in town for a few days over the weekend with her bf. we had a great time...we went to universal studios, santa barbara, solvang, santa monica, camarillo and we even went to a vineyard for some wine tasting. her and her bf mike met a few of our friends, went with us to church, and shared in my bday celebration. we had a great time. i wish she lived in L.A. i think we're both at a point now where we can really appreciate and enjoy one another...and she's 3000 miles away. =( i have to admit i was sorta depressed on monday when they left. i just came home and slept...for HOURS. and then i woke up and just sat around in my apt...thinking. it was good to be alone. sometimes i really need solitude. the last time she was in town without my parents, we got into a physical fight [i won, of course] and had a screaming match. this time, there were no fights, no screaming matches. instead, there were lots of hugs and kisses and i love yous and i miss yous and i wish we lived close to each others. if i ever get to a point where i have lots of disposable income, i'm gonna buy her a house close to me. in a perfect world we'd be neighbors and help each other raise our kids and work together to support our parents in their old age and travel together with our husbands after we're retired. then again...who says that can't happen?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)