"what 'greatest good' can i do?" meaning, what can i do in and with my life that will bring the greatest/most good to ppl?
that question haunts me. and i think it'll be the question that hovers over me the rest of my life.
partly coz i don't know the answer. and partly coz i think i will never know the answer. could pursuit be part of the answer? could conviction? passion? dignity? sacrifice? love?
there's really no way to gage, you know? i can always ALWAYS be doing more/serving more. and with more love, certainly. but there's another part of me that wonders why i care. why do i even want to concern myself with doing the greatest good? is it really coz i want to love God more and glorify Him, or is it coz i want to glorify myself?
my friend thinks there's no such thing as true/pure altruism. i'm inclined to agree. i think. i know many ppl who have and continue to do things for others without expecting ANYthing back. i strive to be like them. but my friend brought up the point that they do those things because they can...coz it brings them pleasure...makes them feel good to serve others. there's nothing wrong with that of course, but if they do it coz it feels good then is it true altruism that moves them?
i dunno. it's almost 2am and i should be working instead of blogging. funny how i've been blogging more...right after i posted the entry about NOT blogging anymore!
anyway...getting back to THE question. i dunno why it's so important to me to try to figure out the answer to that. seriously. why do i care? do most ppl in the world concern themselves with that question? probably not right? who has the time? don't we all have enuff to do? aren't i the consummate busybee? even when i don't have a project deadline, i give myself deadlines for chores! what the hell is wrong with me? who DOES that?!? and now i'm gonna be tossing and turning all night thinking about THE question. good grief, is this all because i haven't had sugar in a whole week? OMG. if that's true that's so sad. =(
3 comments:
Aw, this is such a Hannah entry. It makes me miss you even more!
Hm, well, as far as THE question, I used to ask that question a lot. For better or worse, I changed the question. Nowadays I ask myself more if I am being authentically me and not what someone else wants me to be. I believe being authentically me is being who God created me to be. Doing good can certainly be part of that, but it's longer the overarching question.
As far as being truly altruistic, there might not be pure altruism, but I don't see anything wrong with finding pleasure in doing good. We should! Is doing good somehow less good if we enjoy it? I used to think (and many Christians think this way) that the greater good is to suffer while doing good. That's not to say that doing good sometimes requires sacrifice. I just don't see it as a requirement.
I meant, ...it's no longer the overarching question.
yah, i'm not into suffering either. it's a major drag. but if i'm enjoying doing good then i'm not really suffering, so it works out. =)
i'm not sure what you mean by "a Hannah entry" but i TOTALLY miss you too!
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