i've come to the conclusion that i'm an intellectual poser. volunteering at the us center, i hear the most extraordinary conversations. some of them are just waaaay over my head, and others are provacative, yet understandable. i've been invited to join a few too, which is really nice and often gives me a kind of adrenaline rush, but honestly...more often than not, i leave the office at the end of the day feeling less than intelligent.
i'm really amazed by the ppl here. i'm especially impressed w/my two colleagues in the graphics dept...brian and amanda. in addition to being creative, they're real thinkers. they don't just talk about whatever they're working on, they discuss things of greater scale...they talk about things that affect humanity and whether or not one thing could possibly be the solution for another, and whether God intended for this to happen or not and if He didn't, then what do we do about it now and how are our actions going to affect future generations and what's really relevant to our culture, and what direction is the Church going and is that necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, and what are the most difficult issues Christians today face and can this or that be resolved and if it can then can it be resolved in our lifetime and if it can't then why not and what can we do to speed the process and what's really dividing the Church and believers today and are those divisions real or simply a matter of pride and what does it take to really show ppl that they are individually and uniquely loved by the Almighty Creator and so on and so forth. really...sometimes their conversations are so moving that i rush home and google whatever it is they were talking about.
i can't believe they let me stay here. i can't believe they let me join in on their conversations...let me work alongside them...let me pose my thoughts and questions...let me listen...let me in. i've never felt more unintelligent and superficial on a daily basis before, and as much as that bothers me...as much as i feel like an intellectual poser...i really appreciate it too. if i didn't feel this way...if i wasn't exposed to all this...i don't know that i'd ever be inspired to learn, or even care.
feeling stupid can be a good thing i guess.
2 comments:
oh, hannah, you're not stupid! you're being exposed to a new/different way of thinking. and that's cool.
i third that.. you are smart! you contribute to the conversations... don't hide it!
... and not only are you smart, but you're fun! and sometimes you cant stay in your chair.. .and you slide out on to the ground.. and that makes me laugh!
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