shallow breaths: the saga

i'm starting to get really annoyed at my relatives. okay, so that song/poem "shallow breaths" emerged in the aftermath of my...how shall i say...political "coming out." i mentioned to my relative that i was leaning towards obama, and the response i got was, "but hannah! you're christian! oh my GOD."

seriously now...it was all i could do to not give a verbal smack-down. i didn't respond. i couldn't...i was biting my tongue. but i did stare. HARD. if you don't know how to tell when i'm angry...you'll know by how i look at you. i normally look as though i want to take you down and start pummeling your face with my fists. [but don't worry, i just look as though i want to do that...i've yet to actually do it.] anyway...i know i looked angry. and i hoped that was enough to stop the conversation there. but it went on. i don't want to relay it all here, but suffice it to say that i did more tongue-biting and malicious glaring. it's not that i can't hear others' views...it's that i can't hear them if the tone behind it is condescending. and that particular conversation was accusatory and insulting to boot.

and now, after all that...they decide it prudent to send me two...TWO...different emails about the dangers of obama becoming president. to tell the truth, i'm still undecided. i actually registered as an independent. but what really annoys me is that they think i'm more or less abandoning my faith because i said i'm leaning towards obama. abandoning my faith!! what the hell!! so only republicans are christians? and republicans have the monopoly on faith and morals and judgement? so democrats and those who vote for a democrat are faithless simpletons? what the hell?!?

this is the kind of stuff that drives me crazy. this is the kind of stuff that makes me want to do exactly what they don't want me to do.

i will decide on my candidate because that is my privilege, and because i can. i do not believe that we are getting 100% truth from either candidates...it is politics after all. i also do not believe in demonizing one candidate while elevating the other. i do not believe that obama is satan's choice and mccain is God's. but here is what i do believe: i believe that if God is sovereign and in control, He will be sovereign and in control no matter who becomes president. i believe that all believers are called to be agents of God's grace no matter which party dominates our government. i believe that we still need to pray for our leaders...no matter the leader.