buried

there is a dream buried within me, and i want to share it with the world. but it's completely unrealistic, and completely larger-than-life, and completely overwhelming. it's a vision for my life, a vision for a very long journey, and it's intimidating, daunting, and very unlike me. it has little to do with having children, at least, in the traditional sense, and even less to do with the american lifestyle. it has everything to do with my heart.

i keep telling myself i need to get my head out of the clouds...stop dreaming so much...be more practical. but i think to be any more practical than i already am would be to live a lie.

yes, i think of my responsibilities as a wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, and aunt. yes, the responsibilities that come with being a wife weigh on me the most. no, i have no intention of abandoning them. rather, i'd like to incorporate them. i just don't know how yet.

of course, i understand that there's a chance my dream will never come to pass. that my life will take a different turn than what i envision. but i think, for me, it's more important that i have a vision.

now then, i wonder...what's the next step?