"inside india"

i was supposed to blog about this sat nite but fell asleep.

from my notes during newsong's missions nite called "Inside India":

"vision. tony compolo [the speaker for the nite] is talking about vision...how vital it is...how life changing...how necessary...and how we ALL have one. to go through life without one is like ignoring God's voice. he calls us his own, and he cares for us. but he also leaves us with a mission, whether we like it or not, whether we acknowledge it or not. there's a purpose to us being here, and it's got nothing to do with living comfortable, upper-middle class lives."

amen to that.

more and more, as i come home and look at my surroundings...new furniture, spacious apt, a shitload of nameless "things"...i question myself and my mind starts to wander. "this can't be all there is. it's nice, but this can't be it." "i gotta do something. God, show me what to do that's outside myself and not for myself. [but please don't make me work with any holy-rollers.]"

i've been researching different worldwide ministries...world vision, save the children, capstone ministries, international justice mission, even doctors without borders to name a few. so far, i'm interested in capstone [my uncle's on the board of directors] and ijm. i'd like to visit some of the places these ministries serve in...one of which happens to be india. i'm not sure why i'm currently fascinated with india. but i'm definitely more interested in that country than in any other. well, thailand runs a close second, but somehow, india really stands out in my mind. i can't but wonder if i'm supposed to do something there. but as i wrote in one of my earlier entries, if called, i question whether someone like me could actually serve in such a capacity. and more importantly, i wonder if God would actually call someone like me. i guess we'll see.